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    September 24

    在沉默老去中步入天堂之门

    每天的早上绿色列车都把我带到指定的地方,每天的晚上列车又把我从指定地方送回所谓指定的家.
    每天干着指定地项目,中午晚上吃着指定的饭菜.
    我在每天按部就班的生活中沉默.生活规律,寿命很长.
     
    朋友们聚拢在南下的火车旁送我,我看着火车飞驰,泪光满面.如今想来.当时种种仍历历在目.但已时隔两年.
    我背着画板,坐着最破的绿皮车,跋涉20多个小时.独自一人来到北京.当时酬躇满志,心比天高.如今想来,7年前的往事.现已英雄末路.
    我逃离了恐怖的三年初中,当时懵懂无知.手中的画笔放不下来.现在想来仍是好笑.那时15岁,如今已25.垂垂暮年.
    如今的生活,明天复制着今天.今天复制着昨天.时光飞逝,人愈老去.没有节点更没有回忆.
     
    曾经这样问自己,你是决定大声的死去,还是这样沉默地活着.
    我现在是否还有激情踏上西去的征途,是否还能没有恐惧的看着前方.哪怕我最后会死在路上,尸骨被焦土风干.
    夸父奔日,在燃烧自己的漫漫理想征程中永生.生命炙烈.
     
    河的对面会是甚么,是否可以一脚踏过.那边应该不会比这边更糟.
    煤气打开,门窗紧闭,烛火点亮.外面光影舞动,我踏着不成熟的舞步慢慢摇摆,一切释然.
    在黑夜里除了风还是风,寂静无声.最后我会在沉默中死去.凄凉依然.
    我在垂垂老去中等待天堂之门.
     
     
     
     
     
     
    4:13 AM | Blog it

    Comments (3)

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    建堂 崇wrote:
    这个画也非常不错，楼下的啊，加我MSN
    Sept. 27
    瑶 陈wrote:
    我一直不明白你的某些情绪 不喜欢 哀悼过去还不如抓住现在 不管你喜欢沉默还是叫嚣 如果天天西去眺望大漠的话 那大漠对于记忆也不新鲜了 平淡是新鲜的幕布 没有平淡哪来的瞬间的惊喜 反言之 惊喜一旦滥觞也就淡然了
    Sept. 27
    Sophie 丹wrote:
    煤气打开,门窗紧闭,烛火点亮.
    这句我怎么听着有自杀的意味呢？
    以前我觉得煤气中毒死去是最不痛苦的，睡梦中，就这么睡过去了！
    Sept. 25

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